I attended a Rosary and visitation tonight for the father of an old friend. There was an intersesting clash of emotions within me because my friend was not present. Unfortunately he and his father had been estranged for many years.

I won't go into why except to say that the father made a decision that hurt the son badly. Son never forgave his dad and his decision to sever ties hurt everyone, including him. There is much more to the story but I could not help but think of Linda Ellis'

The Dash Poem
by Linda Ellis © 1996

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning... to the end.

He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years. (1934 -1998)

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth...
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars... the house... the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard...
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile...
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read
With your life's actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

I know what was said about my friend's father. In his early 80's, he still played Senior League softball, he still worked his business and mentored upcoming young men in his career field. Fabulous father, etc., accolades were abundant. But one thing was missing. The eldest son who bore his name. The son he could never get to accept his decision. How big a role did it play in his Dash. More importantly... what role will being unable to forgive his dad have played in the dash of my long lost friend?

See it isn't just what we do that affects The Dash. It can also be what we don't do in our business or personal lives. Obviously we can't make every decision or action please every individual. It is important, however, that we make sure those events are ones that we can live happily with, ourselves. If the end were just around the corner, would you be happy with how your dash played out?